Monday, November 5, 2007
Welcome to our second issue!
The Talossan Voice is back! Our Editor-in-Chief, Dreu Gavárþic'h, is ill this week, so I am filling in for the purpose of heralding this issue. Enjoy!
Cestoûr News Round-Up
Provincial capitol sinking!
The Maricopa Capitol Building, also known as Milwaukee City Hall, is sinking into the ground. A prominent Talossan landmark, the Maricopa Capitol was built on marshy riverfront land in 1895, in the Flemish Renaissance Revival style. At the time of its construction, it was the third tallest building in the United States. But according to Milwaukee officials, the building has sunk 1.5 inches over the past twenty years. Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel columnist Jim Stingl calculates that at the current rate, the top of the building will be level with the ground in only 56,000 years. The Ministry of Defence had no comment on whether the observed sinking is actually the result of a plan to convert the Maricopa Capitol into an underground bunker in case of a 581st-century Canadian invasion.
For more information:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=676827
City Hall has sinking feeling; repairs foreseen
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=679121
City Hall's unsettling, er, settling news
Deli owner creates Talossa’s spiciest sandwich
Challenged by a regular customer who complained that all of his regular offerings just aren’t spicy enough, Maricopa deli owner Felix Glorioso has invented a sandwich to test the hardiest tastebuds. The sandwich’s heat is derived from hot pepper spread, an Italian olive salad with pickled vegetables and peppers called muffuletta, and calabrese and cappicola sausages. A long-time comic book fan, S:reu Glorioso calls his creation “the Human Torch.” Glorioso’s deli is located on Brady Street, or Cuntradâ Davron, in Maricopa Province.
For more information:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=679678
Spicy sandwich built for a superhero
Milwaukee may sell part of Talossan park
Parts of O’Donnell Park, a public park located near Veterans Park in Maritiimi-Maxhestic Province, maybe be sold to the private sector under a plan suggested by Milwaukee County Supervisor Paul Cesarz. The park complex includes a large parking structure and a building with a restaurant and children’s museum. The parking structure is the part of the park most likely to be sold. Cesarz hopes to use revenues from the privatisation to benefit other parts of Milwaukee County’s park system. While Talossans may resent the sale of such assets to benefit parks outside of Talossa, proponents of the plan point out that the $36.5 million cost of building the parking structure and other park facilities in the 1980s was paid by Milwaukee County taxpayers in the first place.
For more information:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=678160
Sale of park property urged
The Maricopa Capitol Building, also known as Milwaukee City Hall, is sinking into the ground. A prominent Talossan landmark, the Maricopa Capitol was built on marshy riverfront land in 1895, in the Flemish Renaissance Revival style. At the time of its construction, it was the third tallest building in the United States. But according to Milwaukee officials, the building has sunk 1.5 inches over the past twenty years. Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel columnist Jim Stingl calculates that at the current rate, the top of the building will be level with the ground in only 56,000 years. The Ministry of Defence had no comment on whether the observed sinking is actually the result of a plan to convert the Maricopa Capitol into an underground bunker in case of a 581st-century Canadian invasion.
For more information:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=676827
City Hall has sinking feeling; repairs foreseen
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=679121
City Hall's unsettling, er, settling news
Deli owner creates Talossa’s spiciest sandwich
Challenged by a regular customer who complained that all of his regular offerings just aren’t spicy enough, Maricopa deli owner Felix Glorioso has invented a sandwich to test the hardiest tastebuds. The sandwich’s heat is derived from hot pepper spread, an Italian olive salad with pickled vegetables and peppers called muffuletta, and calabrese and cappicola sausages. A long-time comic book fan, S:reu Glorioso calls his creation “the Human Torch.” Glorioso’s deli is located on Brady Street, or Cuntradâ Davron, in Maricopa Province.
For more information:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=679678
Spicy sandwich built for a superhero
Milwaukee may sell part of Talossan park
Parts of O’Donnell Park, a public park located near Veterans Park in Maritiimi-Maxhestic Province, maybe be sold to the private sector under a plan suggested by Milwaukee County Supervisor Paul Cesarz. The park complex includes a large parking structure and a building with a restaurant and children’s museum. The parking structure is the part of the park most likely to be sold. Cesarz hopes to use revenues from the privatisation to benefit other parts of Milwaukee County’s park system. While Talossans may resent the sale of such assets to benefit parks outside of Talossa, proponents of the plan point out that the $36.5 million cost of building the parking structure and other park facilities in the 1980s was paid by Milwaukee County taxpayers in the first place.
For more information:
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=678160
Sale of park property urged
Letter to the Editor: Talossan Foreign Policy
Having been a citizen of Talossa for a little over a year, I do not presume to consider myself an expert on Talossan politics. Since becoming a Talossan, I have developed my own political ideology on what I believe is best for Talossa. But, when I was first granted citizenship, I waited and observed, I did not just throw myself into a well established system and try and start rearranging its gears. Moving on, to some astonishment, I have come to the conclusion that my political ideology for Talossa differs greatly from my political ideology of other nations.
While I understand that there are certain aspects of my overall political ideology that ignore borders, such as the idea of freedom of speech and freedom of the press, I am not naïve in thinking that what is good for one nation is necessarily good for others. For my American side, I do believe my country should work with other countries to fight world issues, as the U.S. does not exist as an enclave of another nation, and the U.S. does not exist on land that another nation claims for one of her cities, so there is not a threat of national security if the "parent" nation decided to turn the eye of Sauron on the much smaller, innocent nation. Talossa, on the other hand, very well does exist as an enclave and on the land we believe seceded from the United States. Granted, we joke about the United States "not noticing" the secession, and I think we should work to maintain that. Many of us know, not from firsthand experience of course, what happened the last time the United States noticed a secession movement (and for those who aren't Americans, it wasn't pretty). We need to consider this when deciding on whether or not we should move away from our policy of isolationism.
That is just one main factor; the political landscape between Talossa and many other nations differ immensely. Throughout the world, many issues face governments unilaterally. Talossa is not facing issues like Universal Health Care, illegal immigration, war, civil rights movements, and so forth. Talossa has a remarkable unique opportunity, based a lot on her size and "legitimacy," of being able to exist, in some respects, outside of that world, and to continue to prosper. This is not to say that Talossa should ignore the world. But weighing the pros and the cons of moving away from the policy that has thus far served Talossa amazingly would clearly suggest that we favour isolationism. It is not the place of Talossa to tell other nations what is right for them, just as it is not the place of other nations to tell Talossa what it should do. And it is my responsibility as a Talossan and an American to understand that what is good for America politically, may be very bad for Talossa, and vice versa. Different political situations result in different needs for different countries. So I wholeheartedly believe in maintaining our isolation so as to best ensure the continuous survival and prosperity of the great Kingdom of Talossa.
The Right Honourable Viteu Toctviac'htéir
While I understand that there are certain aspects of my overall political ideology that ignore borders, such as the idea of freedom of speech and freedom of the press, I am not naïve in thinking that what is good for one nation is necessarily good for others. For my American side, I do believe my country should work with other countries to fight world issues, as the U.S. does not exist as an enclave of another nation, and the U.S. does not exist on land that another nation claims for one of her cities, so there is not a threat of national security if the "parent" nation decided to turn the eye of Sauron on the much smaller, innocent nation. Talossa, on the other hand, very well does exist as an enclave and on the land we believe seceded from the United States. Granted, we joke about the United States "not noticing" the secession, and I think we should work to maintain that. Many of us know, not from firsthand experience of course, what happened the last time the United States noticed a secession movement (and for those who aren't Americans, it wasn't pretty). We need to consider this when deciding on whether or not we should move away from our policy of isolationism.
That is just one main factor; the political landscape between Talossa and many other nations differ immensely. Throughout the world, many issues face governments unilaterally. Talossa is not facing issues like Universal Health Care, illegal immigration, war, civil rights movements, and so forth. Talossa has a remarkable unique opportunity, based a lot on her size and "legitimacy," of being able to exist, in some respects, outside of that world, and to continue to prosper. This is not to say that Talossa should ignore the world. But weighing the pros and the cons of moving away from the policy that has thus far served Talossa amazingly would clearly suggest that we favour isolationism. It is not the place of Talossa to tell other nations what is right for them, just as it is not the place of other nations to tell Talossa what it should do. And it is my responsibility as a Talossan and an American to understand that what is good for America politically, may be very bad for Talossa, and vice versa. Different political situations result in different needs for different countries. So I wholeheartedly believe in maintaining our isolation so as to best ensure the continuous survival and prosperity of the great Kingdom of Talossa.
The Right Honourable Viteu Toctviac'htéir
Monday, October 22, 2007
Miller merger menaces Milwaukee
Talossa-area brewer Miller Brewing Company and Denver, Colorado-based Coors Brewing Company have recently announced a merger to combat Anheuser-Busch, the largest brewing company in the United States. The merger plan has sparked fears from some in the Greater Talossan Area (GTA) that Miller’s Milwaukee jobs will be adversely affected.
Miller currently employees approximately 1700 people in the GTA – 800 at its corporate headquarters and 900 at its flagship Milwaukee brewery. The new company, called MillerCoors, expects to realise $500 million in annual savings from the merger. Most of the savings will come from consolidation of distribution systems, but cuts in administrative jobs are likely. Company officials claim that there are no plans to close any of Miller’s six or Coors’s two breweries, but no decision has yet been made about where the joint venture will be headquartered. Representatives of Milwaukee’s regional development campaign are already aggressively courting MillerCoors to make the case for basing the new company in the GTA.
The current merger is not the first for either brewer. Miller Brewing Company is actually foreign-owned, having been purchased by South African Breweries to form London-based SABMiller, Plc in 2002. That acquisition cost Miller 200 jobs in its Milwaukee headquarters. Coors merged with Canadian brewer Molson in 2005 to form Molson Coors, closing two breweries in the process. Miller was founded in Milwaukee by Frederick John Miller in 1855. Coors was established in Golden, Colorado by Adolph Coors and Jacob Schueler in 1873.
The MillerCoors merger could have repercussions for Talossa, as the Royal Bank & Post is currently in the process of selecting a beer that embodies Talossa’s Milwaukee roots for the Kingdom’s currency standard. As Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel columnist Jim Stigl put it: “Milwaukee is funny. We sometimes try to deny our inner beerness until someone threatens to take it away. No matter how many breweries we lose, people from elsewhere still think beer, as opposed to machine tools or blond bricks, when you say Milwaukee.”
Meanwhile, Miller won eight medals at this year's Great American Beer Festival, besting Coors (and all other participating brewers) in its home territory, Denver. Miller's three gold, three silver, and two bronze medals included gold in the American-style specialty lager category for its Icehouse brand. Former GTA brewer Pabst Brewing Company won an additional two gold and two silver medals for beer actually brewed under contract by Miller, including Old Milwaukee Light, gold medal winner in the American-style light lager category. And one of the GTA's smaller brewers, Lakefront Brewery (despite its name, located just across the Milwaukee River from Maricopa Province) won a silver medal in the gluten free category for its New Grist.
For more information:Ganging up on Bud
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=673035
MillerCoors Won'tChange CityImage
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=673873
Barrett wants “full-court press” to keep headquarters
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=672950
Great American Beer Festival Winners List
http://www.beertown.org/events/gabf/pdf/gabf07_winners.pdf
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Letter to the Editor: Talossa and Shifting Paradigms
As a newcomer to this great project in quirky yet fun and freedom-loving society I have a great respect for the traditions that have developed over the past three decades. With one uncomfortable exception. It's official policy of isolationism. It is an inconceivable notion that such a great nation and an egalitarian polity would remain silent on global injustices and choose not to engage in the great debates of our time concerning the future direction of human society.
It is our right and our responsibility as a partner of equal standing in an international community of democratic and peace-loving nations to contribute to efforts that upend traditional norms of Westphalian sovereignty which too often have provided aid and succor to tyrants and dictators who assail their own beleaguered peoples with unending misery and injustice and allow otherwise noble nations with the power and influence to help stop such misery to remain in a state of complicit and apathetic silence.
Paradigms that have dominated worldviews from Tokyo to Tashkent and from the White House to the Kremlin are now failing to comprehend the hopes and needs of an emergent global community and it is high time for our administration in Abbavilla to recognize such developments.
Respectfully,
Breneir Tzaracomprada
It is our right and our responsibility as a partner of equal standing in an international community of democratic and peace-loving nations to contribute to efforts that upend traditional norms of Westphalian sovereignty which too often have provided aid and succor to tyrants and dictators who assail their own beleaguered peoples with unending misery and injustice and allow otherwise noble nations with the power and influence to help stop such misery to remain in a state of complicit and apathetic silence.
Paradigms that have dominated worldviews from Tokyo to Tashkent and from the White House to the Kremlin are now failing to comprehend the hopes and needs of an emergent global community and it is high time for our administration in Abbavilla to recognize such developments.
Respectfully,
Breneir Tzaracomprada
The Ziu & The October Clark
Before reviewing current legislation up for consideration in the Ziu a quick summary of the changing political landscape is in order. Two representatives have been dismissed due to inactivity recently. Joseph Walkland was removed from the Cosâ after missing two consecutive votes and Ián Lord von Metáiriâ is no longer a member of the Senäts after the same circumstance.
The leader of the Defenders of the Throne (DOTT) party, Count Danihél Lord Lauriéir has appointed Sir Fritz von Buchholtz, UrN to the vacant slot as of October 10, 2007.
Now, on to current legislation. The October Clark of the Ziu was promulgated on the 1st of the month by Secretary of State Mick Preston and included three amendments to the Organic Law (Org Law). If passed by the Ziu , these amendments would need further approval by a majority of the electorate.
The first amendment, 37RZ15, The Provincial Government Unshackling Act, would restore provincial freedoms with respect to the establishment of internal governance structures and maintaining adequate activity. Under the mandates of the amendment, the King would appoint a Cunstaval or military governor to administer a province in the absence of local governmental authorities. The Cunstaval would act as a caretaker until the development of such governmental authorities. The second amendment, 37RZ16, The Tim Act, would repeal the House Law of 1989 and the previous royal Succession Act (25RZ37). It establishes the line of succession for the Lupul dynasty and states that should there be no legitimate successors within the current dynasty then succession would revert to the previous dynastic order and would follow that line moving in retroactive manner chronologically.The third and final amendment, 37RZ15, The Al Act, would amend section 6 of the Organic Law to allow for a resolution in each house of the Ziu, approved by two-thirds majority, to suspend or reverse a suspension of someone in the line of succession. This is purported to place some balance of popular will in the choosing of a royal sovereign.
All three amendments passed were passed by the Ziu with the only significant opposition coming from the DOTT. On the procedural vote of confidence the government was upheld by a vote of 157-21. The next Clark will be promulgated on the 1st of November.
The leader of the Defenders of the Throne (DOTT) party, Count Danihél Lord Lauriéir has appointed Sir Fritz von Buchholtz, UrN to the vacant slot as of October 10, 2007.
Now, on to current legislation. The October Clark of the Ziu was promulgated on the 1st of the month by Secretary of State Mick Preston and included three amendments to the Organic Law (Org Law). If passed by the Ziu , these amendments would need further approval by a majority of the electorate.
The first amendment, 37RZ15, The Provincial Government Unshackling Act, would restore provincial freedoms with respect to the establishment of internal governance structures and maintaining adequate activity. Under the mandates of the amendment, the King would appoint a Cunstaval or military governor to administer a province in the absence of local governmental authorities. The Cunstaval would act as a caretaker until the development of such governmental authorities. The second amendment, 37RZ16, The Tim Act, would repeal the House Law of 1989 and the previous royal Succession Act (25RZ37). It establishes the line of succession for the Lupul dynasty and states that should there be no legitimate successors within the current dynasty then succession would revert to the previous dynastic order and would follow that line moving in retroactive manner chronologically.The third and final amendment, 37RZ15, The Al Act, would amend section 6 of the Organic Law to allow for a resolution in each house of the Ziu, approved by two-thirds majority, to suspend or reverse a suspension of someone in the line of succession. This is purported to place some balance of popular will in the choosing of a royal sovereign.
All three amendments passed were passed by the Ziu with the only significant opposition coming from the DOTT. On the procedural vote of confidence the government was upheld by a vote of 157-21. The next Clark will be promulgated on the 1st of November.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Welcome to the Talossan Voice
Azul fellow Talossans,
Welcome to the first ever article of the new Talossan newspaper: La Vôce Talossán (the Talossan Voice). Here at the Talossan Voice, we are dedicated to bringing you high quality news about your country. We promise that we will always have at least three articles every two weeks for you to read, and every other issue, we will publish the “Wittenberg Post of the Month.” Where we will take the best/funniest/most interesting Witt post and put it in the paper. But most of all, we are dedicated to brining you fair and balanced news, we will always "tell it how it is,” and maybe we’ll even actually publish a few articles in the Talossan-language version of this paper (but don’t get your hopes up).
But enough about how great this paper is going to be, it’s time to introduce our stellar team of reporters:
First, straight out of the great province (that definitely doesn’t have too many vowels in its name) of Maritiimi-Maxhestic: Brenéir Tzaracompradâ. Brenéir is our Talossan Law Correspondent, who is dedicated to explaining the strange language used in almost everyone bill put before the Ziu, he’s also decided he’s going to report on some world affairs, approximately “whenever he feels like it.” S:reu Tzaracompradâ is also the leader of the unofficial (as of this writing) new Talossan political party: La Renaixençá Talossán (LRT).
Next, from the southwest of our great country... the province of Maricopa we have: Sir Cresti Matálwos Siervicül, UrN. Cresti is our Cestoûr Affairs expert, though not one himself, he often tries to mingle with these barbaric folk, and indulge himself in their strange, otherworldly culture, and then stuffs these experiences into a newspaper article. We expect many to be about beer... maybe some will be about something else, but since this is Talossa, you can expect that probably every other article will be about beer company mergers or something. Also, Cresti is our unofficial translator, mostly because he is, as many Talossans fondly call him, “The Brain”, and therefore, since he knows everything, we figured he was the natural choice to be a translator. Also he is the head of the Ladintsch Naziunal, but that’s a minor detail compared to that Brain thingy.
We had a lot of fun (and by fun I mean hard work) preparing this first issue, so we hope you enjoy this issue, and all the issues that are to come.
Alexandreu Gavárþic’h
Editor-in-Chief
Welcome to the first ever article of the new Talossan newspaper: La Vôce Talossán (the Talossan Voice). Here at the Talossan Voice, we are dedicated to bringing you high quality news about your country. We promise that we will always have at least three articles every two weeks for you to read, and every other issue, we will publish the “Wittenberg Post of the Month.” Where we will take the best/funniest/most interesting Witt post and put it in the paper. But most of all, we are dedicated to brining you fair and balanced news, we will always "tell it how it is,” and maybe we’ll even actually publish a few articles in the Talossan-language version of this paper (but don’t get your hopes up).
But enough about how great this paper is going to be, it’s time to introduce our stellar team of reporters:
First, straight out of the great province (that definitely doesn’t have too many vowels in its name) of Maritiimi-Maxhestic: Brenéir Tzaracompradâ. Brenéir is our Talossan Law Correspondent, who is dedicated to explaining the strange language used in almost everyone bill put before the Ziu, he’s also decided he’s going to report on some world affairs, approximately “whenever he feels like it.” S:reu Tzaracompradâ is also the leader of the unofficial (as of this writing) new Talossan political party: La Renaixençá Talossán (LRT).
Next, from the southwest of our great country... the province of Maricopa we have: Sir Cresti Matálwos Siervicül, UrN. Cresti is our Cestoûr Affairs expert, though not one himself, he often tries to mingle with these barbaric folk, and indulge himself in their strange, otherworldly culture, and then stuffs these experiences into a newspaper article. We expect many to be about beer... maybe some will be about something else, but since this is Talossa, you can expect that probably every other article will be about beer company mergers or something. Also, Cresti is our unofficial translator, mostly because he is, as many Talossans fondly call him, “The Brain”, and therefore, since he knows everything, we figured he was the natural choice to be a translator. Also he is the head of the Ladintsch Naziunal, but that’s a minor detail compared to that Brain thingy.
We had a lot of fun (and by fun I mean hard work) preparing this first issue, so we hope you enjoy this issue, and all the issues that are to come.
Alexandreu Gavárþic’h
Editor-in-Chief
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