Welcome to the Talossan Voice

Azul fellow Talossans,

Welcome to the first ever article of the new Talossan newspaper: La Vôce Talossán (the Talossan Voice). Here at the Talossan Voice, we are dedicated to bringing you high quality news about your country. We promise that we will always have at least three articles every two weeks for you to read, and every other issue, we will publish the “Wittenberg Post of the Month.” Where we will take the best/funniest/most interesting Witt post and put it in the paper. But most of all, we are dedicated to brining you fair and balanced news, we will always "tell it how it is,” and maybe we’ll even actually publish a few articles in the Talossan-language version of this paper (but don’t get your hopes up).

But enough about how great this paper is going to be, it’s time to introduce our stellar team of reporters:

First, straight out of the great province (that definitely doesn’t have too many vowels in its name) of Maritiimi-Maxhestic: Brenéir Tzaracompradâ. Brenéir is our Talossan Law Correspondent, who is dedicated to explaining the strange language used in almost everyone bill put before the Ziu, he’s also decided he’s going to report on some world affairs, approximately “whenever he feels like it.” S:reu Tzaracompradâ is also the leader of the unofficial (as of this writing) new Talossan political party: La Renaixençá Talossán (LRT).

Next, from the southwest of our great country... the province of Maricopa we have: Sir Cresti Matálwos Siervicül, UrN. Cresti is our Cestoûr Affairs expert, though not one himself, he often tries to mingle with these barbaric folk, and indulge himself in their strange, otherworldly culture, and then stuffs these experiences into a newspaper article. We expect many to be about beer... maybe some will be about something else, but since this is Talossa, you can expect that probably every other article will be about beer company mergers or something. Also, Cresti is our unofficial translator, mostly because he is, as many Talossans fondly call him, “The Brain”, and therefore, since he knows everything, we figured he was the natural choice to be a translator. Also he is the head of the Ladintsch Naziunal, but that’s a minor detail compared to that Brain thingy.

We had a lot of fun (and by fun I mean hard work) preparing this first issue, so we hope you enjoy this issue, and all the issues that are to come.

Alexandreu Gavárþic’h
Editor-in-Chief