Brawndo follow-up: The taste test

In the last issue of The Voice I wrote about Brawndo, the new energy drink inspired by a homonymous fictional product in the movie Idiocracy and brought to reality by Talossan Pete Hottelet. Since that article went to press, I received some sample cans of Brawndo from S:reu Hottelet, so I take pen in hand (okay, keyboard, um, under fingers I guess) once more to report on my findings.

One of the first things you notice about Brawndo (aside from its sweet can, which looks like it came right out of the movie) is its colour – an intimidating toxic-waste-green that looks like it might glow in the dark. (It doesn’t, though. Oh well.) So far, so good!

If you look at the ingredient list on the side of the can, you’ll notice that Brawndo contains three (count ‘em – three!) sweeteners: dextrose (or glucose), sucralose, and acesulfame potassium. The presence of the two artificial sweeteners means that Brawndo is lower in calories than most energy drinks or soft drinks (about a third fewer calories). I was skeptical because I hate the taste of diet sodas, but the taste engineers at Redux Beverages obviously did a good job balancing the ingredients, because Brawndo has very little of the chemical aftertaste I expected from the artificial sweeteners.

Although fairly low in sugar, Brawndo is fairly high in sodium because it has electrolytes, as Brawndo must. Cuz that’s what plants crave, duh.

I have seen the flavour of Brawndo compared to lime Jell-O, which is fairly apt. I happen to like lime Jello-O, so I count that as a plus. In comparison to other energy drinks, Brawndo tastes to me most like Monster (heretofore my favourite energy drink), but less sour. It also bears a passing resemblance to the “Baja Blast” variety of Mountain Dew, which is presently only available at Taco Bell. And Taco Bell is, of course, Talossa’s national cuisine.
Another plus is that while Brawndo has taurine, it does a very good job (unlike, say, Red Bull) of concealing its taste. Taurine may come from ox bile, but that doesn’t mean I want my energy drink to taste like ox bile. Combine that with light carbonation, and you get a very smooth and drinkable beverage, with a considerable energy boost. I would definitely try Brawndo again.